Just a Few Hour of Sleep and the Beard Burn to Prove It

Last night we had a going away party for BMG. It was actually a really rocking party – good company, good beer, good fun. Beforehand I decided not to drink too too much because #1 I knew the girl BMG is crushing on would be there and I didn’t want to get upset or emotional seeing him with her, #2 I had invited the cute boy from class and didn’t want to be all over that so early in the school year (he wasn’t able to come anyway - out of town), and #3 ILC was coming and I didn’t want to blatantly flirt with someone else in front of him (this week BMG all but came right out and told me the ILC likes me). I drank enough to be very happy though. I didn’t care a bit about BMG and his girl, and didn’t have to worry about the cute boy from class (CBFC). I did however flirt blatantly in front of ILC. I felt really bad about it this morning, but as L put it, at least he (kinda) knows (kinda) how I feel now.

I spent the last half of the evening attached at the hip to BMG’s friend, Bike Boy. We met last week when he was hanging at the house, and my first impression wasn’t so hot. I don’t know what it was, but there was something that rubbed me the wrong way. First impressions are often wrong though and last night we had a really good conversation. And it doesn’t hurt that he is a cutie. I’m not sure how it all happened, but somehow we were engaged in some hand holding and footsies under the table, which lead to a “tour” of my bedroom, some making out and then a sleepover (he rode his bike to the party and it was late, dark, and cold outside, and nice and warm in my bed, can you blame him?). He had to work and left around 8 this morning after a couple of kisses and a requisite “can I have your number”, which I know from experience means nothing.

BMG came home shortly there after (from spending the night at his crush’s) and obviously had no idea that BB had spent the night with me. After breakfast (L made homemade waffles, yum!) we both took mid-morning naps and I awoke to him talking on the phone. His room is directly below mine and when he is talking (loudly, as he often does) I can clearly hear his conversation - he knows, but often forgets, that I can hear him through the vents. In my half asleep state I realized that he was talking to BB who must have told him that he spent the night at the house. I tried to tune out the rest of the conversation and didn’t get any vibe from BMG’s half of the conversation as to what BB thought of the evening’s activities. BMG and I have been hanging out in front of the TV this afternoon and he hasn’t yet said anything to me about it.

Do I want BB to call? Yes and “I don’t care.” Yeah, I want him to call because if he doesn’t I’m left with the “why not?” feeling of disappointment that I hate. He is an interesting guy, fun to hang with, and a phenomenal kisser – so of course I wouldn’t mind seeing/kissing him again. But on the other hand – I’m busy, he’s busy... I have plenty of other crushes to focus on. I wasn’t intending to find a fella last night, so if nothing comes of this, no harm done.

I’m not sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring. But if it does, I’ll answer it.