I stopped drinking 29 days ago. I felt like my life was spinning out of control, which is a scary feeling. It wasn’t that the drinking itself was making me feel out of control (in fact, I was on a bit of a beer diet, no drinking when I was just sitting around at my or my then-boyfriend’s house, meaning really not that much drinking at all), but everything else in my life is crazy and I just wanted to feel in control of something… to anything.
For the most part I don’t miss it. With all the late nights at school and long runs, I don’t have much excess energy and there isn’t much time to socialize. But when I am out, it is a bit awkward to have to explain why the girl who was always up for a beer suddenly isn’t. Without diving into the recent woes known as my life, it is kind of hard to understand.
But there are times when a cold drink sounds really good. Like when eating at my favorite Mexican joint, or while enjoying the sun at an outdoor bar after a long bike ride, or especially while sitting around a campfire. But those are also the times when it feels really good to say no. I feel like I am making a decision in my life, instead of having my life decided for me. It is not quite an equal trade-off: I can’t make the people who are important to me stay in Seattle, so I’ll just say no to a beer instead… but it is better than nothing, I guess.
There is a wedding this weekend. I’m a bridesmaid and I’ll be seeing friends and my parents, whom I haven’t seen since Christmas. And I’ll have a drink. Or two. Or three. I’m going to give up my "control" for the night in the name of good times with those I love. But the real question is, what will happen when I come back to Seattle? There are lots of campfires in my future.
To drink, or not to drink? That is the question…
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I’m Fine with Just Water
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Ever since my marathon training commenced, I've more or less given up drinking. And I don't miss it one bit. To be honest, I never really liked alcohol too much; it's just such a social thing, ya know? That's not to say I won't have a cocktail of glass of wine when at some sort of gathering, but overall, I feel much better without it.
Hmm, that's interesting to me because I usually drink to lose some control and "let loose," since I tend to be anal and scheduled and controlled in most aspects of my life.
I think that having one drink and then being able to stop also shows control...what gets me into trouble is the not stopping. Okay, I'll shut up now because I'm sounding like an alcoholic.
i think that having one or two drinks at stopping after that does show a ton of self control, but i totally get you on the trying to control something, when everything else seems to be out of control.
Good for you. I just think it's such a social thing, so it's important to be able to say no and get over the awkwardness of that. Plus no drink means no temptation for too many drinks which means never any bad decisions! :) It also means less calories, which is another reason I don't drink much.
Sometimes it can be really awkward to be the only one not drinking in a social situation. I totally get that.
Good luck.
I'm a social drinker, so I very rarely drink when I'm at home or even when I'm just hanging out with a friend at his/her place. But when I go out, I drink when they drink.
I think maybe you can find a balance? Have one night a week when you can go out with your friends and have a few beers if you're so inclined.
Congrats on your decision! I think it's awesome, if for no other reason than to prove to yourself that you can.
I've had nights out where I didn't drink before... I find ordering water or sprite or something in a glass and drinking it with a straw helps me not stand out so much. :) Also, I've got a Mormon friend who doesn't drink and yet he hangs out with us all the time, bars, camping, house parties... no one even notices the fact that he doesn't have a drink in his hand because he's just an awesome guy to hang out with. Stay strong, you can do it!!
Post a Comment