Figuratively, that is. The weight has been lifted. 6 months of stress (or really a whole year) have come to an end. I finished up teaching and I finished up my qualifying exam. Now I am working on a couple of research projects and auditing a class. I am going to go home at 5pm today, and every day this week. The 60 to 70 hour work weeks are over. The past week has been a time of decompression. It has been an adjustment, but I can slowly feel the stress lifting off my body and my mind. I have things to look forward to, namely the return of nice weather, but I still worry some.
Spending most of my waking hours in my windowless office helped take my mind off (parts of) the mess with Boston, Laura and Max’s move to Boston, and KC’s 6+ month trip to Europe – collectively known as the mass exodus of my closest friends. I missed them all less because I really didn’t have time to miss them, or much spare time at all. But now what? I’ll be home early every night this week and while I have 3 old US Weekly’s and the 4th Twilight book sitting on the nightstand, plus a major “Clean Out and Cozy Up” (more soon on this!) project all waiting for me at home - I don’t have plans for dinner, or drinks, or to watch a movie, or even to go for a run…
I sent some emails over the past week. Emails that went unanswered, not intentionally (I hope) but unanswered all the same. To my friend, trying to schedule dinner at that Mexican place we’ve been talking about for weeks. To the guy I went on a strangely lackluster date with last week that really didn’t warrant a response unless he decided that I was right and he was wrong. To another guy I was going to go on a date with this week, leaving me in a position where I don’t feel like I can email him again. To my roommate’s friend (my friend too?) telling her that if they really did have an extra spot, I’d love to head up to Vancouver for the race. All emails about things to look forward to, that never materialized.
It is not the end of the world. Life isn’t all woe is me these days. I mean, on Friday I effed up my taxes (realizing it 5 seconds after I hit submit on Turb0Tax) and found out my paper was rejected from publication all within 30 minutes of one another. Normally I would cry after an afternoon like that, but not a tear was shed – that is progress! It is just that I don’t have a lot of outlets for my frustration. This blog is one of the best outlets, you know?
I just emailed my CL running friend to hopefully plan a run tomorrow. And just remembered that another friend wanted to go see I Love You Man. So even if I don’t go for Mexican this week or don’t get to spend a weekend in Canada (and don’t get me started on this recent dating!), I’ll survive. But I’ll still hope for some emails in the inbox tomorrow morning.
Monday, April 13, 2009
A Few Inches Taller and Pounds Lighter, alternatively titled: Unanswered Emails
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4 comments:
What a bummer that no one's writing back! I hope you do get some emails tomorrow. Otherwise, I might have to come all the way out there to hang out again. ;)
Congratulations on finishing everything - teaching and your test. I can't imagine what a weight off that would be.
Dude, I would have cried! Then again, I'm a huge ole crier.
Yay for your stress-free existence! I'm hoping to channel this myself come May 1 when I've turned in yet another two books and am on a plane to NYC to celebrate...
Congrats on finishing!
I totally sympathize about the friends exodus and the adapting to a new seemingly emptier routine. I've been going through it for about a year now.
I think you're doing great focusing on the positive catch up stuff. (Book four of Twilight is ten times better then two & three!)
Good luck with your running friend!
I'll email you! And I'll go get Mexican food with you, too.
It's good to mark progress, and to reward yourself for it.
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