Tears

I'm still living in my little world of denial about all the upcoming changes. Mainly in denial that there is currently a moving van at my boyfriend's apartment, packing up his measely belongings to send back home. He might leave this afternoon, he might leave tomorrow... I'm not sure when the tears are going to hit. Right now they are all bottled up because, as I said, I am in denial.

Vacation with the fam was great... I had a wonderful time in Utah and Arizona and did lots of hiking, including the most terrifying hike of my entire life (more to come on all of this, including pictures).

The Boy picked me up at the airport on Saturday and we spent the rest of the day together - lounging around, going out to eat, and watching cheesy movies on tv. Yesterday, after seeing each other a couple of random time during the day, we picked up some copper river salmon (so expensive but so good) and grilled it up with vegetables. We spent the evening talking. He of course couldn't show too much emotion, but some "feelings" slipped out here and there. It is hard when I've been all upset about his leaving for weeks, and he acts as if it doesn't bother him at all. Seeing a bit of sadness in him when he talks of leaving made me feel a bit better.

I just absolutely hate saying goodbye. To anyone. I hated saying it to my school friends that graduated last week. To my family at the airport as I headed back to Seattle. To my friend Shell, who is leaving tomorrow to spend the summer in Alaska (lucky duck).

To The Boy.

I know I'll be ok. I'm a lot stronger than I act with him. I let myself be more dependant on him that I need to be. And I know I'll see him in 2 weeks. But I'm still going to cry my eyes out today. I'm a girl. That is what we do.