Life is busy. But good.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will defend my thesis before I leave for NYC (June 26th). Halleluiah! 2 years of grad school down, 4 to go – oh joy!

I’m meeting Boston’s mom this week. I’m surprising calm about it. And really excited, especially because she is really excited to meet me. Boston might be the most nervous about the whole impending encounter.

Trivia with Boston and Max is really fun, even though we suck at it. But we make up for our trivia suckiness by being really enthusiastic about the questions we can answer - high-fives all around. And by drinking lots of beer. I woke up with an itty bitty hangover this morning – oops!

It is supposed to be 80 degrees by the end of the week. I think I’m going skiing Sunday. Is that not wack or what?

Life is busy. But good.

Not Dead

Just traveling for school, spending time with Boston, and skiing.

Oh yeah, and working on my thesis.

Stay tuned.

It Is Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Christmas vacation that is.

I spent every day of finals week (when I had no finals of my own) working on my thesis. I've gotten up early every day this week and parked myself in front of the computer. But, finally, today, I slept in. Until glorious 10 o'clock. Then I read in bed for a bit, and checked my emails and read blogs (still in bed - I love laptops). I haven't even gone upstairs yet, just substituted the hershey kisses I had in my ski bag for breakfast. I love it!

And yes, I went skiing last night. It was wonderful!! It was just Boston and me because everyone else bailed last minute (shame on them). It was raining hard until about 2 miles from the summit, but turned to snow just like that when we passed some imaginary line. The snow ended up being wonderful (a little wet, but still wonderful). It was great to get back out there and remind myself that not only can I ski, but I can ski pretty darn well. I think that Boston was sizing me up - seeing what he got himself into when we promised to be BSBF (best ski buddies forever), and I think I rose to the challenge. He is faster and skis more aggressively, but I knock him out of the water (or snow) when it comes to form and I am only a turn or two behind him. If last night was any indication, it is going to be a great season!

I only wish this whole Christmas vacation thing could last all day. I really do need to go into school today. Bah humbug!

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good: I wrote the first two sentences of my thesis. They aren't necessarily the true first two sentences and both not make the final cut come March, BUT I have something (anything) on paper. In case you are interested:

"As global trade continues to increase and sup.ply chains lengthen, companies in all sectors of the economy are facing increased vulnerabilities. These vulnerabilities exist in all links of the sup.ply chain, including the transportation network which moves goods from origin to destination."

Exciting, huh? Actually, recent news (such as a 20-mile closure of a major freeway in Washington due to flooding - see the pictures on the right, crazy!) highlight the relevancy of my research topic. (Oh btw, all is dry here... we had a bit of minor flooding in the basement, but no one, or no thing washed away.)

The Bad: I had to seriously restrain myself from sending an email to The Boy. It was going to be disguised as a "I'm just telling you I sent you your pants so you don't think I am completely ignoring you" email, when I know full well that they most likely arrived yesterday, and I just wanted to write to see if he wrote back. Thankfully the sane side of my brain is too smart for the psycho girl side of my brain, and quickly nixed that idea. Sane side did let psycho girl side draft an email to get it out of its system - which was promptly deleted. Psycho girl side is still anal about checking my email every two seconds to see if he is going to respond that he got the pants, but that is as far as it goes. Just checked. No email.

The Ugly: I cut myself some bangs last night. Don't worry, they really aren't ugly (although knowing my haircutting skills, it could have ended up that way).I've been growing them out since July but I missed them. No regrets. Yet.

I *heart* New York

But only limited amounts of time. It is nice to relax here. I don't have a car and my cell phone doesn't get reception. I actually spent a decent amount of time doing school work today. I have to really crack the books tomorrow though. You'd think the anticipation of a pay raise once I complete my masters would provide me incentive to get this damn thesis done, but obviously not.

I've spent a lot of time with my nephew. I think he might be the smartest little boy in the world. Seriously. I also saw my bff's new baby. She might be the cutest baby in the world. Seriously. I've been eating like I have a tape worm and I must have gained 10 pounds in the last 4 days. Seriously.

Most of this trip has been spent in my sweats, watching movies or sleeping, so there isn't all that much to report. I'm not looking forward to getting back to Seattle because the week is going to be crazy. In addition to all my school obligations, I need to plan, shop for, and clean for my annual holiday wine party. I am not looking forward to the party lead up, but it will be worth it when, with wine in hand, I am ushering in the holiday season (and collecting donations for a worthy cause) with all my friends.

OK, signing off from NY before I blog you into boredom...

(Oh, and I have another hate to add to the list: group project, specifically when your group sucks! 5 people in the group, only 2 doing the work (me being one of those 2) - so not cool! I'm sick of hearing how people are really busy. I am busy too, yet I specifically make time to work on the project because, hello, it has to be done people!! Ugh!)

Love/Hate

Love: Janet’s Love/Hate posts so I am copying (imitation is the sincerest form a flattery).

Hate: That Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I have a class ‘til 9, that might run late.

Love: My red-eye flight, that will allow me to jet from class early.

Hate: The weather forecast for central NY. Way too cold for me!

Love: My fitness class instructor at the gym. Honestly, I have a girl crush on her. She rocks.

Hate: Because of her, I will not be able to laugh or cough or do anything else that engages my abs tomorrow without wincing in pain.

Love: Hearing that my friend, who experienced a horrible tragedy, is preparing to experience a miracle (in the form of a new baby!).

Love: Real chicken wings (not what they serve here in Seattle).

Love: Having plenty to be thankful for this year: friends, family, health, and amazing opportunities, to name a few.

Love: Having way more to love than hate in my life.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ferris Bueller is so right on with this one. How is Thanksgiving THIS WEEK?!?! Time flies by yet, I never seem to get anything done.

Last week was hellish. I was swamped with work and commitments (so I barely got any work done) and then had to attend a conference in Portland. It was relatively fun, but not all that informative and I could have spent my time otherwise (not to mention all the time I spent dealing with logistics of getting 10 other students down there).

I caught a cold on my return from Hawaii, my car battery died and had to be replaced, and I lost my student id (which doubles as a bus pass). I spent the week in shock, thinking about my friend’s sister’s murder (they arrested two men, one who confessed), and worrying about another friend’s father who was having a brain tumor removed (the surgery went well and the tumor was benign).

This weekend I treated myself to a glorious morning of sleeping in (12 hours of sleep!), a leisurely run with my roommate, dinner with an old friend, an easy hike up north with a new friend, and just a bit of homework. And in just 3 days, I’ll be back in the comforts of my childhood home. My mom (who, I don’t say it enough, is amazing!) will cook me all the foods I am craving and let me stay in my pjs all day. I get to catch up with my brother and play with my nephew. And see my best friends, and best friend’s new baby. I will feel all nervous about attending my 10-year high school reunion, but then have a blast. I’ll still work on my thesis, but I’ll do it in a place that makes me feel all warm and cozy.

Then I will come back to Seattle and life will be all crazy again. But as the keynote speaker at last week’s conference pointed out, cities experience traffic congestion because they have desirable qualities. There is a reason why San Francisco is congested and Flint, Michigan isn’t. So maybe there is a reason my life is “congested” too?!?

Professor K

I'm teaching my first class today. OK, not really teaching, but more so facilitating a class. But I get to stand up in front of a class and be in charge. Introduce the speaker, facilitate a discussion, hand back papers, introduce the next assignment...

Eeek! This is what I think I want to do when I am all grown up. I hope it goes well!

Random

This summer down right sucks. Not just because of things with The Boy, although that surely adds to the level of suckiness, but just overall. I guess after a summer like the last, it is hard to compare, but I really don't have much to show for this one besides my family vacation (which I was too upset about The Boy's departure to really enjoy) and the half marathon. I really don't like getting up every morning to go to my job, and have been counting down for weeks till I am out of there (5 more weeks to go).

Good news though - I am officially on track to start my PhD for winter quarter! I met with my advisor on Friday and I am very excited to make more progress on my thesis and finish up the masters degree during the fall, and then start on a new project. And the best news of all... she didn't even blink when I asked if I could take a month off (mid-January to mid-February) to travel to Ecuador and Peru! Sweet!

I met my advisor off campus, but I wanted to see my friend, LP's office (she just started working at UW - very exciting) and then I showed her mine. Walking into the building wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would have been, but I'm sure when I am walking along the hallways and have time to think about it, it will be a little rough. I ran into one of The Boy's friends (well, my friend too) outside. I think that The Boy must have been in town last weekend like he said he might, and must have seen Matt (the friend) because he didn't mention/ask about The Boy at all during our little chat. This is also the same guy that I feel "took" my spot to study abroad and he was telling me about his plans for Norway - so the whole conversation was a little awkward. Besides this run in, it felt good to be back at school.

I started Harry Potter this morning. I re-read #6 and I am glad I did because there was so much that I had forgotten and now I feel completely up to speed. I am about halfway through (I spent most of the day reading at the beach) and plan to hop into bed with it right now and immerse myself in the world of wizards and witches. Harry's problems are much much worse than mine!

Brain Drain

Guess who moved back into town the DAY AFTER The Boy and I broke up. Yup, BMG. Classic!

I also received an out of the blue gift from my mom that same day. A beautiful pink beaded necklace. I’ve been wearing it non-stop since. Funny how moms can sense when you need a pick me up.

Oh, and because I know you’ve been on the edge of your seat… I didn’t win the $89 mil on Tuesday (but neither did anyone else). Bummer.

And onto the subject that consumes my mind 99% of the day. It is a good thing that I have amazing friends, because honestly I am not strong enough to do this. Guess you can call me lucky to have never had my heart broken until now, but I don't have any practice on how to make it though and some days I feel like I am drowning. I want so bad to hear his voice. I wonder non-stop if he is thinking of me. He started work today on a 10 week project in the middle of no-where. There are no friends or family, no gym, no kitchen, he already finished Harry Potter - I can only imagine how crazy he is going with all this time to think. I shouldn't worry about him though, that has been my biggest fault in this whole relationship - worrying more about him than myself... but I can't help it.

Tomorrow I meet with my advisor to try and convince her that #1 she should let me stick around school for another year or two before fully committing to a PhD and then #2 she should let me take off the month of January to travel though Ecuador and Peru, and then of course work my ass off in February and March. I'm a little scared to go back to school and walk through those halls, with so many memories of all the hours The Boy and I spent there. I have to do it at some point, I just wish it wasn't tomorrow... Anyway, wish me luck with my advisor!

Big Decision

I have a big decision coming up. I need to decide if I am going to head back to the working world after I finish my masters (in December) or stay on for a PhD. It has been the million dollar question since March and there is a lot of pressure to stay at school from my advisor and other professors in the department. I change my mind every couple of days regarding what I am going to do, but I need to make a decision by the end of the summer. Below is just a glimpse into all the thought running through my head.

Reasons to stay for a PhD:

Ultimately, I want to teach.
I really like school and the student lifestyle.
I want to learn more.
While it isn’t much, I do get paid and won’t go into any debt.
I have the opportunity to spend up to a year in Denmark, and get paid for it.
I was awarded a funding package that will allow me to develop a new course for the department, which is a wonderful opportunity considering my desired focus is more on teaching that research.
There are classes I still want to take.
I’ll have a bit more flexibility to be able to travel (although less money to do so).
Having a job/internship this summer, I am not really thrilled about being back in cubicle land, even with a year off.
I’m not sure what kind of job I even want.

Reasons to go back to work:

I want to focus on teaching, not research, and there aren’t many schools in this area (one in Seattle, one in Olympia, and one in Spokane) where I could do that. Or what if there isn’t even a job at UW.
I can’t get my mind off the fact that it is a 4 or 5 year commitment. Maybe that means my heart is not in it.
I don’t know if I could be really passionate about a research project.
I’ll actually have money. While I really don’t mind having less spending money, it scares me to think about housing prices and how they are only going to go up.
I think I might enjoy working for the Port (trying it out this summer).
Sometimes I wonder if I am even smart enough to get a PhD.
Sometimes I wonder if I just am thinking about a PhD so I don’t have to work yet.
I won’t be tied to Seattle (not that I am planning to leave, but at least I’ll have the option).
There still is potential to get into teaching without the PhD if I am patient.
2 girls I know who just finished PhDs (in my department but not discipline area) both just said "don't do it!"

Tired... Yet Toned

I had two midterms this week and I am totally burnt out from studying. Thankfully I can sleep in tomorrow - nothing to do till 1:30! And we have classes cancelled on Friday for Open House, yet I don't have to volunteer until Saturday so I have the whole day to catch up on my research - of course that means I need to be at school on Saturday but it is *supposed* to be sunny, whatever that means here in Seattle.

This quarter I am taking a class, Total Toning, at the gym here on campus. $30 for 16 classes (twice a week for 8 weeks). It is awesome. We do a total body toning workout, circuit style so we even get a bit of a cardio workout. We use benches (steps), dumbells, body bars and resistance bands. It is tough but worth it. My bum and outer thighs, along with right bicep (why only one?), are sore after yesterday's class. By the end of the quarter I am certain I am going to have rocking arms and a perky tush! Despite the soreness I still managed to run over 3 miles today at a decent clip. It is amazing how much easier a run can be when you have someone to gab with! Only 12 weeks to the half marathon so I gotta get my running on! I dropped another pound too - slowly but surely I'll reach more goal. Only 7 more pounds to go.

OK, time to kick off that marathon sleeping session NOW!

It's Over

Spring Break that is, cuz we started classes two weeks ago. Time to face reality and get off this extended 4 week vacation. I need to buy some notebooks and binders. Do some homework. Get my life organized.

No more staying up past midnight. No more sleeping in till 10. No more pints of beer in the middle of the afternoon (how about just late afternoon?).

I gotta work now so when the sun comes out I can play!

But damn - I love student life!

Poor Girl

I’ve had time to accept it. I’ve gone from upset, to angry, to upset, to indifferent. Ultimately I’m just disappointed.

I was on pins and needles all week, knowing that decision regarding me spending next year in Denmark was coming. I’ve wasted too much time dwelling over it to go too much in detail, but essentially I got a raw deal. Someone was “pushed through” by a member of the selection committee who also happened to be this student’s advisor… his proposal was incomplete (self-admitted) and his application couldn’t stack up to mine (I’m modest… I know). But as “consolation” if I stick around for my PhD I can go the following year. Gee-thanks! You know I’ll be 29 then… no chance of any commitments that might prevent me from leaving the country for a year or anything. I’ll just jump at the chance to go anytime you say I can…

I cried a lot on Friday. To my advisor. To my mom. To The Boy. I think I’m all cried out finally. I’ve been able to talk about it without shedding a tear. It is just hard. I wanted this so badly. I feel like it should be mine. I know you can never get away from politics, but it just sucks when you are a victim of it.

But I’m trying to focus on the positives. It takes a lot of stress off my relationship with The Boy (although now it is more important for him to find a job here in Seattle). I can go to Hawaii (state #40 whoo-who!) in the fall for Krissy’s wedding. I can start planning a trip to Ecuador and Peru. I can take a little longer to finish my masters and use that time to determine if I want to continue on for a PhD. And maybe… you never know… I will be able to go to Denmark someday.

I feel robbed. But I’ll be ok.

Moola

I applied for a scholarship back in the fall and then pretty much forgot about it. Today I received a letter telling me I won!

I'm lucky enough to be fully funded at school so it just means an extra $2500 in my savings account.

Now I just have to get my arse into action to work on the next scholarship application. The stakes are higher here - a fully paid for year in Denmark.

Time to get motivated...

2006

27 Things I Did in 2006 (somewhat purloined from Miss. J):

1. Skied in Utah powder
2. Applied to grad school
3. Scored my first soccer goal
4. Visited my BFF in Honduras
5. Napped in a hamock at a Guatemalan eco-resort
6. Came in 2nd place in a huge March Madness pool
7. Gave up tv for lent and really stuck with it (well, almost)
8. Learned to swing dance
9. Danced with a drag queen
10. Took a hip hop dance class
11. Quit my job
12. Spent 15 days on the road, by myself
13. Saw the Grand Canyon
14. Listened to country music in a bar in Nashville
15. Went splunking in Kentucky
16. Drank a Guiness in Ireland
17. Met Rick Steves' son
18. Swam in the Medeterrian (in Spain and in Italy)
19. Watched the sun set over the Eiffel Tower
20. Made a wish on the Charles Bridge
21. Hiked in the Alps
22. Flirted with Italian men
23. Drove across the country in 3-1/2 days
24. Went back to school
25. Went from living alone to living with 3 great roommates
26. Went to my first D1 football game
27. Met a boy who I still liked after 3 dates

A Weekend Down South

I spent the weekend down at OSU, hanging with a bunch of enginerds, trying to crack the big mystery: where will k go to grad school? All in all it was a good weekend. I wanted to walk out of it with more of “feeling.” Either – this is it; this is where I’ll be next year!! Or, ugh I hate it, why would I ever think of leaving Seattle?!?! I liked it though, a lot. The prof I’d be working under is great. Really personable, and really well known in the field. Having my name next to hers on a paper could do a lot for my reputation in the academic world. Corvallis is a cool town as well, in between 2 mountain ranges and only 45 minutes from the coast. Downsides… it is far from all my friends, who I adore. And I felt so old… I was the oldest of all the prospective students, by 5 years. The other students I’d potentially be working with were great, really fun and nice, but obviously a lot younger than me. Not that this would be different at UW, but there I’d have all my other friends still around. So basically, while the weekend was great, I didn’t come out of it with a clearer picture of what I am going to do next year. I do, however, have something to compare UW to now. I am meeting with a prof there on Friday and then their recruitment weekend is at the end of the month.

I got back early this morning and spent the day lounging around, watching a movie and catching up on email. I had dinner with Laura and Max to fill them in on my weekend (they were happy to hear I wasn’t 100% sold on OSU because they are pushing so hard for UW). I called BMG too, to see if we wanted to come along since we hadn’t seen each other in over a week. As I suspected, he confirmed that will finals week starting tomorrow, he is confined to campus for the next few days. We talked for a little bit though and he provided some insight into his thoughts on selecting a grad school (from his own experiences). Things (if anything) are progressing slowly with him, but I like it – we both are busy but we are comfortable with just calling each other up out of the blue, not worrying about who’s (or is that whose?) “turn” it is to call or any other that other silly stuff. He’s pretty sure there will be a party at his place Friday night, so I’ll get to see him soon enough.