I had a (self-imposed) emotionally draining weekend.
See, my best Seattle friend (and her husband, who is probably my second best Seattle friend) is moving across the country. I don't do well with goodbyes. They aren't leaving until August. But I can't think about it. This, in itself can, and will make for a lengthy post in the future.
With regards to this post, all that matters is that I thought about her leaving. And then I thought about my boyfriend's potential departure - also in August, also across the country. And even more, I thought that I might be crazy to be dating Boston in the first place because this whole thing is so freaking damn scary and I just don't want to get hurt.
And then I don't hear from Boston all weekend. I wasn't looking for a heart-to-heart, marathon phone conversation, but just something to let me know he was thinking of me. I even gave him an in - sending him a message to say I was thinking of him. It would have taken, what, 30 seconds to respond? But there were no new messages all weekend. I wasn't mad or upset with him, just frusterated. Really, it was that simple. One little text message could have brightened my day.
Fast forward through Boston coming home and realizing something was up, through the small talk about the weekend, through the probing about why I was so upset (where I skipped the whole text message party because I felt silly and focused on being upset about everyone leaving), to the part where we are lying in bed in the dark and I feel a million times better just because I am with him.
He askes "Did you miss me? Because I missed you." I nod. He continues "Your text message made me smile." I quietly respond "You could have wrote back, that would have made me smile."
He thought for a moment. Somewhere between the "I'm sorry," the "I thought about you all weekend," and the "I just didn't think about it like that" he through in there a "Why are we guys so dumb when it comes to this kind of stuff?!"
Amen!
Monday, February 11, 2008
The Way Boys Think (Or Don't)
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6 comments:
Well...at least he realizes it. And good for you for saying something (at an appropriate time). I think we forget that their heads don't work like ours and sometimes they need direct instructions, rather than hints.
I'm glad you got to talk about it. Hopefully now he knows that LETTING YOU KNOW he's missing you is a really good idea. :)
That's really great that he apologized and that you had the chance to calmly tell him that you were bummed he didn't send any texts. It's all about figuring out how to calmly, clearly and kindly convey your needs and then to see if he is willing/able to meet them.
Hahahahaha, touche.
Sounds like he's trainable after all!
Hey, the fact that he recognized he was being dumb is a definite plus.
My boyfriend is exactly the opposite when we're apart - he calls and calls and calls and constantly tells me he misses me. While it's sweet that he thinks about me so much, it can also be a bit much sometimes. :)
i think it's awesome that he admitted that he was being a lil dumb. honestly, i think sometimes guys just don't think it all the way through, or perhaps they don't analyze as much as us. :)
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