I Just Don’t Get You

Dear JP,

When we met during the first day of school I was really excited. You are my age (as opposed to 25 like most of my other school friends), smart, cute, athletic, nice… We got drunk together 4 or 5 days in a row the first day of the fall quarter (and then I got sick and stayed sick the entire quarter – which sucked). I took you on your first NW camping trip. It was all fun and I was looking forward to a fabulous friendship. But then I realized, at times, you are a dud.

I want to be your friend, and I try really hard at it. I go out of my way to invite you to do things – whether it be to have lunch on the lawn outside or go hiking. I even planned your birthday ice cream outing! When we hang out, we have fun. I enjoy your company, and unless you are an incredible actor, you enjoy mine. If nothing else, I feel like you are a genuine person.

But you NEVER invite me to do anything. I’m always the one initiating. Or on the few occasions you do plan something, I’ve been totally left out. Yeah, I did realize that you invited everyone else over before MJs birthday party a few weeks ago to play Rockband, yet never mentioned it to me. And then I felt kind of stupid when people asked why I wasn’t at your place. It was pretty uncool...

I don’t understand why you get in your “moods,” and start completely ignoring me - not responding to text or calls or emails. I called you out on it last week and you responded that you weren’t ignoring me. But really?!? I had to text you, call you, and then text you again just to find out that you “can’t” go to the BBQ you were interested in going to 2 hours ago – but you weren’t ignoring me.

KC asked the question that was in the back of my mind – is there any sort of sexual tension between us. I don’t think so, right? MJ did ask about any potential for “us” awhile ago. And in the same weekend, both Laura and Lan asked what the deal is with you. It is nothing personal though, and maybe I’m even quick to dismiss it because it might actually work. But if that is why you never ask me to do anything or sometimes ignore me, if it is because you like me and don’t know what to do about it… well stop. First, you don’t want to be with me - at least not now, I’m a freaking mess when I start thinking about relationships. And second, I’d probably be more open with the whole idea if you took some initiative and didn’t blow me off.

I think we have potential to be great friends. But I think you are on the verge of blowing it JP. I just don’t get you.

Sincerely,
k