Making “Bad” Decisions

After fitful nights of sleep on Sunday and Monday, I was really looking forward to watching Gilmore Girls and getting to bed early last night. BMG called though and of course I caved. His mood had improved immensely from the “I didn’t call you for a pep talk” conversation, most likely due to the fact that he had one final out of the way and had been approved to officially take a year off of school. I joined him and friends (including ILC) for some celebratory drinks, which lasted until midnight. I know I should have gone home earlier, but I was having fun and I guess I was soaking up all the BMG that I could get. I don’t know if he is really leaving, or for how long if he does, but I know I am not ready to say goodbye for good. I hate goodbyes.

I know I’m part of a “love” triangle, something I’d tell any of my friends to run from - fast, but I’ve managed to convince myself that it is okay because two-thirds of the triangle of leaving for the summer. ILC invited us both to a big party Saturday. BMG was pretty insistent that I come and drink it up with him (I hope because he wants to spend time with me, not because he is trying to play wingman for ILC) but I’m a bit hesitant to let it all loose around him. I know how I get when I am drunk (really flirty and forward) and don’t want to put any of us (BMG/ILC/me) in that situation (although I have not gotten any action in FOREVER!). BMG told me my bark is worse than my bite, and it is time I get crazy with him and back up all the stories I’ve told. What I should do and what I want to do are two different things. What will I do is the question.

The other Saturday option is to go out to celebrate a friend of a friend’s birthday with a big, crazy group, including Mully. That probably isn’t the smartest idea either.