The Boy needed a break. That is now what we are on. I really don't know what that exactly means. I think I might have asked but now I don't remember. After a horrible hour of tears and sobs and shaking, he somehow convinced me to pull it together and he took me to lunch. Two and a half hours later I felt much better (we even figured out a plan and a backup plan for my PhD/job dilemma), but it is hard because I look at every little thing as potential for this still to work out. When he tells me he doesn't rule out "us" in the future... when he says he is thinking about looking for a job in Olympia... when he brought up Hawaii.
I'm ok though. It sucks. I am miserable. But I'm not about to go off the deep end or anything.
I will however be spending the next 4 days in Portland for a conference (not looking forward to it) and then 3 days back in NY for a long weekend to see my bestest BFFs. I'll be MIA, but not to worry (too much).
Saturday, July 14, 2007
No Better
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5 comments:
sending you some hugs. we have all been there and it sucks, but just take it day by day. surrond yourself with the things you love and enjoy your best friends when you get to ny.
K, I am so sorry!
I understand what you're saying - that you're looking for reasons it could work. My ex told me we would take a break and that he wasn't ruling out 'us' in the future, but when I confronted him two months later after he never called anymore, he said he had no intention of us getting back together. And I realized then that he never had. I wish I would've begun moving on sooner. But moving on is a long process. I'm not saying your situation is my situation by any means, but if you view things as over and he does come back, good. And if he doesn't, you won't be waiting. The only thing worse than a breakup is waiting in vain for backtogether.
I will be thinking of you! I hope that your spirits are lifted when you go home for a visit. Sometimes distance and trips help I think - being in a different environment with people you love. I hope that will be true for you.
Hugs,
L
Good luck with all of it..and have some serious fun in NY! I'm so jealous. I've never been. It's sad, but true.
definitely been there. move on, girl. it ain't worth it.
So sorry to hear. Enjoy your time in NY... you deserve it.
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