I don't care... it is funny and it makes me feel better!!
There is this girl. I know her from school. We are "friends" mainly because we are two females in a male dominated program and had classes together. If I met her anywhere else though, we'd never be friends. She was friends with The Boy too.
I am/was jealous of her... I'll admit it. I actually asked The Boy if he had ever hooked up with her, or wanted to. I didn't really think anything happened (it didn't - I trust him enough to believe him when he says he never cheated on me) but there was just that nagging feeling, mainly stemming from the jealousy.
I'm not an insecure person, but she is (or was, see below) skinnier than me and more athletic. I sometime I felt like that was what The Boy wished I was more like - I don't think that is too far from the truth. I am completely aware that it is pathetic. And she might be skinny and athletic, but she pretty plain looking, isn't all that bright, and has a major blah personality. And she shows up for class in the most inappropriate outfits... hello... go put some clothes on!
It has been hard for me because I don't know if she is in contact with The Boy. He went out (drinking) with her both the night we went on the break (the last time I saw him) and the weekend after we officially broke up (over the phone). He was having a good time with her and his college buddies while I was curled up in bed inconsolable. It isn't her fault really, but I can't help but feel resentment towards her. Seeing her makes me think of him and I can't wait till she graduates and I don't have to run into her on an almost daily basis.
So... she is a big runner but had a stress fracture in the spring that she is still recovering from and can not run very much. Well, guess what happened to the skinny little girl... she gained some weight and isn't so skinny so more! I totally noticed it, I noticed that I am actually skinnier than her now (one good thing to come out of heartbreak!), but it was confirmed when she told me a story today (note: she told me the story so I am just relaying it, not spreading rumors or anything).
She put on her fave jeans yesterday and totally split the seam along her inner thigh!! Ha! Maybe if her jeans were so damn tight in the first place this wouldn't have happened! Will she learn her lesson? Probably not... her jeans were awful tight today again. Along with her skimpy top - hello! it is November!
So as I said - go ahead and call me a bitch for thinking this is hilarious... but it has been a rough couple of months and if something is making me feel good I am gonna run with it (and besides she'll never know I am having a laugh at her expense)! You can't be an angel and think nice thoughts although time.
(P.S. I really am almost over The Boy. Especially with respect to recent events, he is just not worth my agonizing over anymore. I am not 100% ready to say goodbye to it all yet, but soon!)
(P.P.S. I know that being skinny doesn't make you a better person. But it is nice to feel good about yourself.)
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Go Ahead and Call Me a B*tch
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6 comments:
I understand. My very good friend hurt me by dating and later marrying my ex (although by wedding time I was 100% ok with it). I feel awful admitting it, but I remember being happy when her face was all broken out. I just wanted to feel cuter than her since he was choosing her over me.
totally not a bitch. actually, pretty normal feelings, hey, i'm studying psychology, i know these things haha. in all seriousness, i'd be lying if i didn't used to ask my roommates if i was prettier than j's new girlfriend. i was so happy when she actually turned out to be pretty un-cute.
Laugh away, my friend! I'm jealous sometimes too. We all are. It's human nature. A laugh at some annoying girl's expense may be a bit catty, but who cares!? If it gets you through the day and she never finds out about it then no harm no foul.
And seriously, I HATE girls that dress trampy in male dominated class rooms / offices. It's like - hello! You're a girl, you have boobs, and you are surrounded by men. The men will notice you even if you wear a potato sack. Trust me! You do not need to dress like a whore.
Amen, Court.
For a long time I refused to wear skirts to work as I felt like dressing overly feminine wouldn't be appropriate in my male dominated field. I never want anyone to think I'm getting ahead on anything more than my talents.
K, brave of you to write how you're really thinking. I doubt I would be so brave and open myslef up to some harsh judgement in the comments section.
I love it! We all go through that. I remember looking at the ex's new wife's blog and seeing her with her new bangs and smiling to myself as I thought..."Wow. Bad idea." And feeling a little happy knowing the ex probably didn't like them and quite possibly (although he might have changed his ways) telling her he didn't like the.
Yes...I went through a little jealous, stalker phase myself. And lest readers of this comment think, "Really, still obsessed now that he's married," let me just say that he got married 8 months (yes, 8) after we broke up.
Now, I'm over it.
definitely not a bitch. at all. i would have had a laugh at that one too.
i nicknamed my ex's new girlfriend "the muppet". does that make me a bitch? ;)
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