I can't say I am sad to see 2008 go. It started out with a lot of promise, but much of it was filled with disappointment, heartache, hurt feelings, on-going injuries, goodbyes, and feelings of being lost and lonely.
I've started the slow crawl out of my cave of self-pity. I know that I am only going to be truly be happy again when I let go of some people, places and things of the past. I hold on tight because the memories are like a sort of armor. With the hurt and sadness so fresh in my mind, I am not willing to open myself up emotionally, avoiding to potential of being hurt, disappointed or sad again. But it is taking its toll and I can't be emotionally withdrawn from life forever.
So 2009 is going to be the year of letting go and opening up. Not all at once, and in baby steps mind you, but 12 months from now I want to look back over the year with a smile. I can pinpoint the last time I was truly happy, and I desperately want that back - not the people or the experience, but the feeling.
2009 is also going to be the year of 5 to 9 servings of fruits and veggies a day.
And of course, 2009 is my 30th year... 25 days and counting, EEK!
Friday, January 02, 2009
2009
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4 comments:
I'm sorry it's been such a hard year for you. It's nice to have a new year, a chance for a fresh start. Letting go is so hard. I've especially always hated it, because I'm so sentimental and get attached to people and places. One truthful quote that has always stuck with me is "God won't ever take away something you need." It reminds me that, although loss is painful, hope can still spring up in its place. Here's to new hope for a much better year for you!
Amen, sister. Well said.
Yay!
May it be the year of K. As well as the year of T. I'm willing to share if you are!!
30 seems so young to me now! Probably because I'm about to be closer to 30 than 20 ;-)
Here's to 2009!
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