Last week JP said we should go hiking after he finished up his exams. I said lets go this weekend (as in the one coming up) and he said yes. Then this weekend people were going to a bar that I am way too old to show my face at, but it was MJ's birthday (she is younger than me, therefore it is acceptable for her to celebrate there). I asked JP and my crush turned best buddy if they were going. JP said he felt old (me too!) but would go if I did. So I picked him up. It was fun until it got crowded and people got drunk (including him and everyone else, but not me). We didn't stay out late, but I had a good time. That night Nik asked me what was going on between him and I - you know us hiking together, going canoeing... It probably was a loaded question keeping in mind that Nik and MJ are pretty good friends with JP. They probably talk to him more than I do - bc half the time he freaking ignores me! I just kind of brushed it off bc it is a long explanation. See below.
Then yesterday MJ comes by to ask if she can borrow my tent for the weekend. I tell her that JP and I are going hiking (and I had been planning the whole time to invite others) so if her and her boyfriend are camping near where we hike, they should meet us. She is like - wait, but isn't it a date? Ummm... no, we are just hiking. And she was like yes it is, he thinks it is... It was obvious he had been talking to her about it.
But it isn't a date - it is the same as us doing things together like we always have. Right?
So I basically freaked out about it after she left (I was also in the middle of writing an email to my advisor about how much school sucks, which was stressing me out too). *This is the see below part* There is nothing wrong with JP. He is nice (again, except when he is ignoring me), smart, cute, blah blah blah. But I don't think I can or want to be in a relationship right now. I don't feel like I am able to trust someone now. And I've already lost a good friend (Boston) because we got into a relationship that didn't work. It sucked and I don't want to do that again. It was fine to be flirting with my crush turned best buddy (before we actually became friends) and to go out on several dates with that guy I met on that crazy night out before Christmas because that was all inconsequential, but I feel like this does have more consequences.
Yeah, I'm a bit lonely and having a guy to occupy my time and say nice things to me would be nice - but I don't think that guy should be the one whose office sits directly above mine.
So now I don't know what to do. This hike could be so awkward!?!
Guys (and school) are so frustrating. I need to get on a plane and just blow this joint. 2 weeks and counting...
1 comment:
My solution to most questions: get on a plane.
But really, it will all seem more clear in a couple weeks, if not days.
Post a Comment