It funny, how you haven't thought much about someone in months, and then all of a sudden, WHAM. It is all everyone can talk about it.
Okay, I am being dramatic here.
But on Sunday I showed up at a BBQ with Max and Laura (who were in town from Boston). There were a lot of people there that I haven't seen for ages. In the midst of the hellos, I heard from behind the grill - "hey, we are missing the tall one..." referring to, yup, none other than Boston. It wasn't loud enough for everyone to hear and the host quickly explained that we were no long together (yeah, I said it was people I hadn't seen in ages). But it was enough.
It is weird to think that we could have still be together, and it would have been normal (maybe almost expected) to those around us. Boston himself said we had never reached our peak, that we could have had fun together for 2 or 3 more years. Just not for forever.
As M&L dropped me off after the BBQ, I asked what they were doing for the rest of the night. They were having dinner with him. Go figure. It took me off guard. I'm glad they were honest. I didn't know what to say. Except to tell them that when/if he asked how I was, that they weren't to tell him anything about me. They were pretty surprised by my strong reaction, but he made a choice to not be a part of my life, and to me, that means all the way. I don't want him to know about my life, and in return, I want to know nothing of his.
And then, to top it all off, I'm talking to a high school bestie who (innocently) just happens to ask when I've heard from Boston last. Perfect timing.
I'm hoping Max and Laura drop it and don't bring it up again. Just like I hope that Laura drops the whole JP-situation (I've been completely honest with her about how I feel so she shouldn't continue to try to make it something that it isn't). Because if they drop it, this whole thing is just a little blip on the radar. It is a reminder that I still have some scars. And I'm still holding on to a bit of the past. But that I'm moving past all this and the little blips might sneak up on me, but don't bother me for too long.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sometimes it Sneaks Up on You
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3 comments:
ugh, well i guess that was bound to happen. Good for you not wanting to know about him. I'd be so curious, but it only makes it harder.
My last post addressed this exact thing with different circumstances, obviously. Glad I'm not alone, even if it really does suck.
Sometimes it sucks having friends in common with an ex. Okay, most times it sucks. But the good thing is as more time passes it will suck less, or at least not hit you hard.
It's tough to remember but there are also times when you think about that person and it really doesn't affect you one way or the other. Those moments are good to keep in mind, too.
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